CAST
Actor 1: Viola
Actor 2: Orsino/Sir Toby Belch
Actor 3: Sebastian/Sir Andrew Aguecheek/Servant
Actor 4: Olivia/Maria/Officer
Actor 5: Malvolio/Antonio/Captain
Volunteers play an Officer and a Priest.
ACT I.
SCENE I.
ACTOR 3 [Sing]
O Mistress Mine, where are you roaming?
Stay and hear your true love's coming
That can sing both high and low
O trip no further, pretty, pretty sweeting,
Journeys end in lovers meeting,
Every wise man's son doth know.
High and low, high and low, high
and low,
Every wise man's son doth know.
During this song, VIOLA (1) is shipwrecked. She stays at one side of the stage through the following.
DUKE ORSINO steps forward.
DUKE ORSINO (2)
If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
That strain again! it had a dying fall:
O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:
'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.
Actor 5 steps forward, as Actor 4 appears as Olivia.
How now! what news from her?
Actor 3
So please my lord, I might not be admitted;
But from her handmaid do return this answer:
Actor 4
The element itself, till seven years' heat,
Shall not behold her face at ample view;
But, like a cloistress, she will veiled walk
And water once a day her chamber round
With eye-offending brine: all this to season
A brother's dead love, which she would keep fresh
And lasting in her sad remembrance.
Actor 3 [Sings]
O what is love? 'Tis not hereafter.
Present mirth brings present laughter,
What's to come is still unsure.
In delay there lies no plenty, pretty, pretty sweeting,
Come and kiss me, sweet and twenty,
For you and I shall not endure.
VIOLA (1)
What country, friends, is this?
Actor 5
This is Illyria, lady.
VIOLA
And what should I do in Illyria?
My brother he is in Elysium.
Perchance he is not drown'd: what think you, sailor?
Actor 5
It is perchance that you yourself were saved.
VIOLA
O my poor brother! and so perchance may he be.
Actor 5
True, madam: and, to comfort you with chance,
Assure yourself, after our ship did split,
When you and those poor number saved with you
Hung on our driving boat, I saw your brother,
Most provident in peril, bind himself,
To a strong mast that lived upon the sea.
Actor 3 appears as Sebastian.
VIOLA
Know'st thou this country?
Actor 5
Ay, madam, well; for I was bred and born
Not three hours' travel from this very place.
VIOLA
Who governs here?
Actor 2
A noble duke, in nature as in name.
VIOLA
What is the name?
Actor 2
Orsino.
ORSINO comes forward.
VIOLA
Orsino! I have heard my father name him:
He was a bachelor then.
Actor 5
And so is now, or was so very late;
For but a month ago I went from hence,
And then 'twas fresh in murmur,--as, you know,
What great ones do the less will prattle of,--
That he did seek the love of fair Olivia.
VIOLA
What's she?
Actor 4
A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count
That died some twelvemonth since, then leaving her
In the protection of his son, her brother,
Who shortly also died: for whose dear love,
They say, she hath abjured the company
And sight of men.
VIOLA
I prithee, and I'll pay thee bounteously,
Conceal me what I am, and be my aid
For such disguise as haply shall become
The form of my intent. I'll serve this duke:
It may be worth thy pains; for I can sing
And speak to him in many sorts of music
That will allow me very worth his service.
Actors dress her as Cesario.
Actor 5
Be you his servant, and your mute I'll be:
When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see.
VIOLA
I thank thee: lead me on.
Actor 3 [Sings]
No, no, no…
High and low, high and low, high and low
Every wise man's son doth know.
SCENE II. OLIVIA'S house.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH(2) and MARIA (4)
MARIA
By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o' nights: your cousin, my lady,
takes great exceptions to your ill hours. I heard my lady talk of it yesterday;
and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?
MARIA
Ay, he.
SIR TOBY BELCH
He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria.
MARIA
What's that to the purpose?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.
MARIA
Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats: he's a very fool and a prodigal.
SIR TOBY BELCH
By this hand, they are scoundrels and subtractors that say so of him.
MARIA
They add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.
SIR TOBY BELCH
With drinking healths to my niece: I'll drink to her as long as there is a passage
in my throat and
drink in Illyria: Castiliano vulgo! for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.
Enter SIR ANDREW(3)
SIR ANDREW
Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby Belch!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Sweet Sir Andrew!
SIR ANDREW
Bless you, fair shrew.
MARIA
And you too, sir.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.
SIR ANDREW
What's that?
SIR TOBY BELCH
My niece's chambermaid.
SIR ANDREW
Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.
MARIA
My name is Mary, sir.
SIR ANDREW
Good Mistress Mary Accost,--
SIR TOBY BELCH
You mistake, knight; 'accost' is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.
SIR ANDREW
By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning
of 'accost'?
MARIA
Fare you well, gentlemen.
SIR TOBY BELCH
An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.
SIR ANDREW
An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady,
do you think you have fools in hand?
MARIA
Sir, I have not you by the hand.
SIR ANDREW
Marry, but you shall have; and here's my hand.
Exit Maria
SIR TOBY BELCH
O knight: when did I see thee so put down?
SIR ANDREW
Never in your life, I think. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian
or an ordinary man has: but I am a great eater of beef and I believe that does
harm to my wit.
SIR TOBY BELCH
No question.
SIR ANDREW
An I thought that, I'ld forswear it. I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Pourquoi, my dear knight?
SIR ANDREW
What is 'Pourquoi'? do or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues
that I have in fencing, dancing and bear-baiting: O, had I but followed the
arts!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.
SIR ANDREW
Why, would that have mended my hair?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Past question; for thou seest it will not curl by nature.
SIR ANDREW
But it becomes me well enough, does't not?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff.
SIR ANDREW
Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby: your niece will not be seen; or if she
be, it's four to one she'll none of me: the count himself here hard by woos
her.
SIR TOBY BELCH
She'll none o' the count: she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate,
years, nor wit; I have heard her swear't. Tut, there's life in't, man.
SIR ANDREW
I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o' the strangest mind i' the world;
I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?
SIR ANDREW
As any man in Illyria.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Wherefore are these things hid? wherefore have these gifts a curtain before
'em?
SIR ANDREW
Shall we set about some revels?
SIR TOBY BELCH
What shall we do else? Let me see thee caper; ha! higher: ha, ha! excellent!
Exeunt
SCENE III. DUKE ORSINO's palace.
VIOLA [sings]
When that I was and a little tiny boy,
With hey-ho, the wind and the rain;
A foolish thing was but a toy,
For the rain it raineth every day.
Cast [sings]
Hey ho, hey ho, hey ho, hey ho,
The wind and the rain.
Enter DUKE ORSINO.
DUKE ORSINO
Who saw Cesario, ho?
VIOLA
On your attendance, my lord; here.
DUKE ORSINO
Stand you a while aloof, Cesario,
Thou know'st no less but all; I have unclasp'd
To thee the book even of my secret soul:
Therefore, good youth, address thy gait unto her;
Be not denied access, stand at her doors,
And tell them, there thy fixed foot shall grow
Till thou have audience.
VIOLA
Sure, my noble lord,
If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow
As it is spoke, she never will admit me.
DUKE ORSINO
Be clamorous and leap all civil bounds
Rather than make unprofited return.
VIOLA
Say I do speak with her, my lord, what then?
DUKE ORSINO
O, then unfold the passion of my love,
Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith:
It shall become thee well to act my woes;
She will attend it better in thy youth
Than in a nuncio's of more grave aspect.
VIOLA
I'll do my best
To woo your lady:
Aside
yet, a barful strife!
Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife.
Exeunt
SCENE IV. OLIVIA'S house.
VIOLA [sings]
But when I came to man's estate,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain
'Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate,
For the rain, it raineth every day…
Viola continues to sing quietly behind dialogue. Enter MALVOLIO, OLIVIA.
MALVOLIO
Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much desires to speak with you.
OLIVIA
From the Count Orsino, is it?
MALVOLIO
I know not, madam: 'tis a fair young man, and well attended.
OLIVIA
Go you, Malvolio: if it be a suit from the count, I am sick, or not at home;
what you will, to dismiss it.
MALVOLIO
I told him you were sick; he takes on him to understand so much, and therefore
comes to speak with you. I told him you were asleep; he seems to have a foreknowledge
of that too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him,
lady? he's fortified against any denial.
OLIVIA
Give me my veil: come, throw it o'er my face.
We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy.
Enter VIOLA.
VIOLA
The honourable lady of the house, where is she?
OLIVIA
Speak to me; I shall answer for her.
Your will?
VIOLA
Most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beauty,--I pray you, tell me if this
be the lady of the house, for I never saw her: I would be loath to cast away
my speech, for besides that it is excellently well penned, I have taken great
pains to con it.
OLIVIA
Whence came you, sir?
VIOLA
I can say little more than I have studied, and that question's out of my part.
Good gentle one, give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the house, that
I may proceed in my speech.
OLIVIA
Are you a comedian?
VIOLA
No, my profound heart: and yet, by the very fangs of malice I swear, I am not
that I play. Are you the lady of the house?
OLIVIA
If I do not usurp myself, I am.
VIOLA
Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp yourself; for what is yours to bestow
is not yours to reserve. But this is from my commission: I will on with my speech
in your praise, and then show you the heart of my message.
OLIVIA
Come to what is important in't: I forgive you the praise.
VIOLA
Alas, I took great pains to study it, and 'tis poetical.
OLIVIA
It is the more like to be feigned: I pray you, keep it in. I heard you were
saucy at my gates, and allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than to
hear you. If you be not mad, be gone; if you have reason, be brief. Speak your
office.
VIOLA
It alone concerns your ear.
OLIVIA
Give us the place alone.
Malvolio exits.
Now, sir, what is your text?
VIOLA
Most sweet lady,--
OLIVIA
A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said of it.
Where lies your text?
VIOLA
In Orsino's bosom.
OLIVIA
In his bosom! In what chapter of his bosom?
VIOLA
To answer by the method, in the first of his heart.
OLIVIA
O, I have read it: it is heresy. Have you no more to say?
VIOLA
Good madam, let me see your face.
OLIVIA
Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate with my face? You are now
out of your text: but we will draw the curtain and show you the picture. Look
you, sir, such a one I was this present: is't not well done?
Unveiling
VIOLA
Excellently done, if God did all.
OLIVIA
'Tis in grain, sir; 'twill endure wind and weather.
VIOLA
'Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white
Nature's own sweet and cunning hand laid on:
Lady, you are the cruell'st she alive,
If you will lead these graces to the grave
And leave the world no copy.
OLIVIA
O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted; I will give out divers schedules of my
beauty: it shall be
inventoried, and every particle and utensil labeled to my will: as, item, two
lips, indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids to them; item, one neck,
one chin, and so forth. Were you sent hither to praise me?
VIOLA
I see you what you are, you are too proud;
But, if you were the devil, you are fair.
My lord and master loves you: O, such love
Could be but recompensed, though you were crown'd
The nonpareil of beauty!
OLIVIA
How does he love me?
VIOLA
With adorations, fertile tears,
With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.
OLIVIA
Your lord does know my mind; I cannot love him:
He might have took his answer long ago.
VIOLA
If I did love you in my master's flame,
With such a suffering, such a deadly life,
In your denial I would find no sense;
I would not understand it.
OLIVIA
Why, what would you?
VIOLA
Make me a willow cabin at your gate,
And call upon my soul within the house;
Write loyal cantons of contemned love
And sing them loud even in the dead of night;
Halloo your name to the reverberate hills
And make the babbling gossip of the air
Cry out 'Olivia!' O, You should not rest
Between the elements of air and earth,
But you should pity me!
OLIVIA
You might do much.
What is your parentage?
VIOLA
Above my fortunes, yet my state is well:
I am a gentleman.
OLIVIA
Get you to your lord;
I cannot love him: let him send no more;
Unless, perchance, you come to me again,
To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well:
I thank you for your pains: spend this for me.
VIOLA
I am no fee'd post, lady; keep your purse:
My master, not myself, lacks recompense.
Love make his heart of flint that you shall love;
And let your fervor, like my master's, be
Placed in contempt! Farewell, fair cruelty.
Exit
OLIVIA
'What is your parentage?'
'Above my fortunes, yet my state is well:
I am a gentleman.' I'll be sworn thou art;
Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions and spirit,
Do give thee five-fold blazon: not too fast: soft, soft!
Unless the master were the man. How now!
Even so quickly may one catch the plague?
Methinks I feel this youth's perfections
With an invisible and subtle stealth
To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be.
What ho, Malvolio!
Re-enter MALVOLIO
MALVOLIO
Here, madam, at your service.
OLIVIA
Run after that same peevish messenger,
The county's man: he left this ring behind him,
Would I or not: tell him I'll none of it.
If that the youth will come this way to-morrow,
I'll give him reasons for't: hie thee, Malvolio.
MALVOLIO
Madam, I will.
Exit
OLIVIA
Fate, show thy force: ourselves we do not owe;
What is decreed must be, and be this so.
Exit
ACT II.
SCENE I. The sea-coast.
Enter ANTONIO and SEBASTIAN
ANTONIO
Will you stay no longer? nor will you not that I go with you?
SEBASTIAN
By your patience, no. My stars shine darkly over me: the malignancy of my fate
might perhaps distemper yours; therefore I shall crave of you your leave that
I may bear my evils alone.
ANTONIO
Let me yet know of you whither you are bound.
SEBASTIAN
You must know of me then, Antonio, my name is Sebastian. My father was that
Sebastian of Messaline, whom I know you have heard of. He left behind him myself
and a sister, both born in an hour: if the heavens had been pleased, would we
had so ended! but you, sir, altered that; for some hour before you took me from
the breach of the sea was my sister drowned.
ANTONIO
Alas the day!
SEBASTIAN
A lady, sir, though it was said she much resembled me, was yet of many accounted
beautiful: she bore a mind that envy could not but call fair. She is drowned
already, sir, with salt water, though I seem to drown her remembrance again
with more.
ANTONIO
Pardon me, sir, your bad entertainment.
SEBASTIAN
O good Antonio, forgive me your trouble.
ANTONIO
If you will not murder me for my love, let me be your servant.
SEBASTIAN
If you will not undo what you have done, that is, kill him whom you have recovered,
desire it not. I am bound to the Count Orsino's court: farewell.
Exit
ANTONIO
The gentleness of all the gods go with thee!
I have many enemies in Orsino's court,
Else would I very shortly see thee there.
But, come what may, I do adore thee so,
That danger shall seem sport, and I will go.
Exit
SCENE II. A street.
Enter VIOLA and MALVOLIO.
MALVOLIO
Were not you even now with the Countess Olivia?
VIOLA
Even now, sir; on a moderate pace I have since arrived but hither.
MALVOLIO
She returns this ring to you, sir: you might have saved me my pains, to have
taken it away yourself. Receive it so.
Exit
VIOLA
I left no ring with her: what means this lady?
Fortune forbid my outside have not charm'd her!
She made good view of me; indeed, so much,
That sure methought her eyes had lost her tongue,
For she did speak in starts distractedly.
She loves me, sure; the cunning of her passion
Invites me in this churlish messenger.
None of my lord's ring! why, he sent her none.
I am the man: if it be so, as 'tis,
Poor lady, she were better love a dream.
How will this fadge? my master loves her dearly;
And I, poor monster, fond as much on him;
And she, mistaken, seems to dote on me.
What will become of this? As I am man,
My state is desperate for my master's love;
As I am woman,--now alas the day!--
What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe!
O time! thou must untangle this, not I;
It is too hard a knot for me to untie!
Exit.
SCENE III. OLIVIA's house.
Enter Sir Toby and Sir Andrew.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Approach, Sir Andrew: not to be abed after midnight is to be up betimes, thou
know'st,--
SIR ANDREW
Nay, my troth, I know not: but I know, to be up late is to be up late.
SIR TOBY BELCH
A false conclusion: I hate it as an unfilled can. To be up after midnight and
to go to bed then, is early: so that to go to bed after midnight is to go to
bed betimes. Does not our life consist of the
four elements?
SIR ANDREW
Faith, so they say; but I think it rather consists of eating and drinking.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Thou'rt a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink.
Maria, I say! a stoup of wine!
Shall we make the welkin dance indeed? shall we rouse the night-owl in a catch
that will draw three souls out of one weaver? shall we do that?
SIR ANDREW [sings]
But when I crept into my bed,
With hey ho, the wind and the rain,
Tosspots still had drunken heads,
For the rain it raineth every day.
SIR TOBY, SIR ANDREW [sing]
Hey ho, hey ho, hey ho, hey ho,
The wind…
Enter MARIA
MARIA
What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady have not called up her steward
Malvolio and bid him turn you out of doors, never trust me.
SIR TOBY BELCH
[Sings] 'Hey ho, hey ho, hey ho'-
MARIA
For the love o' God, peace!
Enter MALVOLIO
MALVOLIO
My masters, are you mad? or what are you? Have ye no wit, manners, nor honesty,
but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Is there no respect of place,
persons, nor time in you?
SIR TOBY BELCH
We did keep time, sir, in our catches. Sneck up!
MALVOLIO
Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me tell you, that, though she
harbours you as her kinsman, she's nothing allied to your disorders. If you
can separate yourself and your misdemeanors, you are welcome to the house; if
not, an it would please you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid
you farewell.
SIR TOBY BELCH
'Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs be gone.'
MARIA
Nay, good Sir Toby.
SIR ANDREW
'His eyes do show his days are almost done.'
MALVOLIO
Is't even so?
SIR TOBY BELCH
'But I will never die.'
SIR ANDREW
Sir Toby, there you lie.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Shall I bid him go?
SIR ANDREW
What an if you do?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Shall I bid him go and spare not?
SIR ANDREW/MARIA
Oh no no no no you dare not!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Out o' tune, sir: ye lie. Art any more than a steward? Dost thou think, because
thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale? A stoup of wine, Maria!
MALVOLIO
Mistress Mary, if you prized my lady's favour at any thing more than contempt,
you would not give means for this uncivil rule: she shall know of it, by this
hand.
Exit
MARIA
Go shake your ears. Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for tonight: since the youth
of the count's was today with thy lady, she is much out of quiet. For Monsieur
Malvolio, let me alone with him: if I do not gull him into a nayword, and make
him a common recreation, do not think I have wit enough to lie straight in my
bed: I know I can do it.
SIR TOBY BELCH
What wilt thou do?
MARIA
I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of love; wherein, by the colour
of his beard, the shape of his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure of
his eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find himself most feelingly personated.
I can write very like my lady your niece: on a forgotten matter we can hardly
make distinction of our hands.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Excellent! I smell a device.
SIR ANDREW
I have't in my nose too.
SIR TOBY BELCH
He shall think, by the letters that thou wilt drop, that they come from my niece,
and that she's in love with him.
MARIA
My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that colour.
SIR ANDREW
O, 'twill be admirable!
MARIA
Sport royal, I warrant you: I know my physic will work with him. I will plant
you two where he shall find the letter: observe his construction of it. For
this night, to bed, and dream on the event. Farewell.
Exit
SIR TOBY BELCH
Good night, Penthesilea.
SIR ANDREW
Before me, she's a good wench.
SIR TOBY BELCH
She's a beagle, true-bred, and one that adores me: what o' that?
SIR ANDREW
I was adored once too.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Come, come, I'll go burn some sack; 'tis too late to go to bed now: come, knight;
come, knight.
Exeunt
SCENE IV. DUKE ORSINO's palace.
Enter DUKE ORSINO, VIOLA, Actor 3
DUKE ORSINO
Give me some music. Now, good morrow, friends.
Now, good Cesario, but that piece of song,
That old and antique song we heard last night:
Methought it did relieve my passion much,
More than light airs and recollected terms
Of these most brisk and giddy-paced times:
Come, but one verse.
VIOLA/Actor 3
[Sings]
Come away, oh come away, death,
And in sad cypress let me be laid;
Fly away, oh fly away breath;
For I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,
O, prepare it!
My part of death, no one so true
Did share it.
(Not a flower, not a flower sweet
On my black coffin let there be strown;
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown:
A thousand thousand sighs to save,
Lay me, O, where
Sad true lover never find my grave,
To weep there!) possible cut
Oh oh oh oh
Oh-ho, oh, oh...
Come away, oh, come away, death,
And in sad cypress let me be laid;
Fly away, oh fly away breath;
For I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
ORSINO
Come hither, boy: if ever thou shalt love,
In the sweet pangs of it remember me;
For such as I am all true lovers are,
Unstaid and skittish in all motions else,
Save in the constant image of the creature
That is beloved. How dost thou like this tune?
VIOLA
It gives a very echo to the seat
Where Love is throned.
DUKE ORSINO
Thou dost speak masterly:
My life upon't, young though thou art, thine eye
Hath stay'd upon some favour that it loves:
Hath it not, boy?
VIOLA
A little, by your favour.
DUKE ORSINO
What kind of woman is't?
VIOLA
Of your complexion.
DUKE ORSINO
She is not worth thee, then. What years, i' faith?
VIOLA
About your years, my lord.
DUKE ORSINO
Too old by heaven: let still the woman take
An elder than herself: so wears she to him,
So sways she level in her husband's heart:
For, boy, however we do praise ourselves,
Our fancies are more giddy and unfirm,
More longing, wavering, sooner lost and worn,
Than women's are.
VIOLA
I think it well, my lord.
DUKE ORSINO
Once more, Cesario,
Get thee to yond same sovereign cruelty:
Tell her, my love, more noble than the world,
Prizes not quantity of dirty lands;
The parts that fortune hath bestow'd upon her,
Tell her, I hold as giddily as fortune;
But 'tis that miracle and queen of gems
That nature pranks her in attracts my soul.
VIOLA
But if she cannot love you, sir?
DUKE ORSINO
I cannot be so answer'd.
VIOLA
Sooth, but you must.
Say that some lady, as perhaps there is,
Hath for your love a great a pang of heart
As you have for Olivia: you cannot love her;
You tell her so; must she not then be answer'd?
DUKE ORSINO
There is no woman's sides
Can bide the beating of so strong a passion
As love doth give my heart; no woman's heart
So big, to hold so much; they lack retention
Alas, their love may be call'd appetite,
No motion of the liver, but the palate,
That suffer surfeit, cloyment and revolt;
But mine is all as hungry as the sea,
And can digest as much: make no compare
Between that love a woman can bear me
And that I owe Olivia.
VIOLA
Ay, but I know-
DUKE ORSINO
What dost thou know?
VIOLA
Too well what love women to men may owe:
In faith, they are as true of heart as we.
My father had a daughter loved a man,
As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman,
I should your lordship.
DUKE ORSINO
And what's her history?
VIOLA
A blank, my lord. She never told her love,
But let concealment, like a worm i' the bud,
Feed on her damask cheek: she pined in thought,
And with a green and yellow melancholy
She sat like patience on a monument,
Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?
We men may say more, swear more: but indeed
Our shows are more than will; for still we prove
Much in our vows, but little in our love.
DUKE ORSINO
But died thy sister of her love, my boy?
VIOLA
I am all the daughters of my father's house,
And all the brothers too: and yet I know not.
Sir, shall I to this lady?
DUKE ORSINO
Ay, that's the theme.
To her in haste; give her this jewel; say,
My love can give no place, bide no denay.
Exeunt
SCENE V. OLIVIA's garden.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW
Enter MARIA
MARIA
Get us all three into the box-tree: Malvolio's coming down this walk: Lie thou
there,
Throws down a letter
for here comes the trout that must be caught with tickling.
Exit
Enter MALVOLIO
MALVOLIO
'Tis but fortune; all is fortune. Maria once told me she did affect me: and
I have heard herself come thus near, that, should she fancy, it should be one
of my complexion. Besides, she uses me with a more exalted respect than any
one else that follows her. What should I think on't?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Here's an overweening rogue!
MALVOLIO
To be Count Malvolio!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Ah, rogue!
MALVOLIO
Having been three months married to her, sitting in my state, calling my officers
about me, in my branched velvet gown; having come from a day-bed, where I have
left Olivia sleeping,--
SIR TOBY BELCH
Fire and brimstone!
MARIA
O, peace, peace!
MALVOLIO
And then to have the humour of state; and after a demure travel of regard, telling
them I know my place as I would they should do theirs, to for my kinsman Toby,--
SIR TOBY BELCH
Bolts and shackles!
MARIA
O peace, peace, peace! now, now.
MALVOLIO
Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make out for him: I frown the while;
and perchance wind up watch, or play with my-some rich jewel. Toby approaches;
courtesies there to me,--
SIR TOBY BELCH
Shall this fellow live?
MALVOLIO
I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my familiar smile with an austere regard
of control, saying, 'Cousin Toby, my fortunes having cast me on your niece give
me this prerogative of speech,'-
SIR TOBY BELCH
What, what?
MALVOLIO
'You must amend your drunkenness.'
SIR TOBY BELCH
Out, scab!
MARIA
Nay, patience, or we break the sinews of our plot.
MALVOLIO
'Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a foolish knight,'-
SIR ANDREW
That's me, I warrant you.
MALVOLIO
'One Sir Andrew,'-
SIR ANDREW
I knew 'twas I; for many do call me fool.
MALVOLIO
What employment have we here?
Taking up the letter
By my life, this is my lady's hand. [Reads] 'To the unknown beloved, this, and my good wishes:'-her very phrases! By your leave, wax. Soft!: 'tis my lady. To whom should this be?
MARIA
This wins him, liver and all.
MALVOLIO
[Reads]
Jove knows I love: But who?
Lips, do not move;
No man must know.
'No man must know.' What follows? the numbers altered! 'No man must know:' if
this should be thee, Malvolio?
[Reads]
I may command where I adore;
But silence, like a Lucrece knife,
With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore:
M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.
MARIA
A fustian riddle!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Excellent wench, say I.
MALVOLIO
'M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.' Nay, but first, let me see, let me see, let
me see. 'I may command where I adore.' Why, she may command me: I serve her;
she is my lady. Why, this is evident to any formal capacity; there is no obstruction
in this: and the end,--what should that alphabetical position portend? If I
could make that resemble something in me,--Softly! M, O, A, I,-- M,--Malvolio;
M,--why, that begins my name.
MARIA
Did not I say he would work it out? the cur is excellent at faults.
MALVOLIO
M,--but then there is no consonancy in the sequel; that suffers under probation
A should follow but O does. And then I comes behind. Soft! here follows prose.
Reads
'If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my stars I am above thee; but be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. Thy Fates open their hands; let thy blood and spirit embrace them. Be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants; let thy tongue tang arguments of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity: she thus advises thee that sighs for thee. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings, and wished to see thee ever cross-gartered: I say, remember. Go to, thou art made, if thou desirest to be so; if not, let me see thee a steward still, the fellow of servants, and not worthy to touch Fortune's fingers. Farewell. She that would alter services with thee, THE FORTUNATE-UNHAPPY.'
Daylight and champagne discovers not more: this is open. I will be proud, I will read politic authors, I will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross acquaintance, I will be point-devise the very man. I do not now fool myself, for every reason excites to this, that my lady loves me. She did commend my yellow stockings of late, she did praise my leg being cross-gartered; and in this she manifests herself to my love. I thank my stars I am happy. I will be strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and cross-gartered, even with the swiftness of putting on. Jove and my stars be praised! Here is yet a postscript.
Reads
'Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling; thy smiles become thee well; therefore in my presence still smile, dear my sweet, I prithee.' Jove, I thank thee: I will smile; I will do everything that thou wilt have me.
Exit
SIR TOBY BELCH
I could marry this wench for this device.
SIR ANDREW
So could I too.
SIR TOBY BELCH
And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest.
SIR ANDREW
Nor I neither.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck?
SIR ANDREW
Or o' mine either?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Shall I become thy bond-slave?
SIR ANDREW
I' faith, or I either?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Why, thou hast put him in such a dream, that when
the image of it leaves him he must run mad.
MARIA
If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark his first approach before
my lady: he will come to her in yellow stockings, and 'tis a colour she abhors,
and cross-gartered, a fashion she detests;
and he will smile upon her, which will now be so unsuitable to her disposition,
being addicted to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him into a
notable contempt. If you will see it, follow me.
SIR TOBY BELCH
To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil of wit!
SIR ANDREW
I'll make one too.
Exeunt
ACT III.
SCENE I. OLIVIA's garden.
Enter VIOLA.
VIOLA [sings]
When at last I came to wive,
With a hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
By swaggering could I never thrive,
For the rain it raineth every day...
Enter OLIVIA.
OLIVIA
Give me your hand, sir.
VIOLA
My duty, madam, and most humble service.
OLIVIA
What is your name?
VIOLA
Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess.
OLIVIA
My servant, sir!
You're servant to the Count Orsino, youth.
VIOLA
And he is yours, and his must needs be yours:
Your servant's servant is your servant, madam.
OLIVIA
O, by your leave, I pray you,
I bade you never speak again of him:
But, would you undertake another suit,
I had rather hear you to solicit that
Than music from the spheres.
VIOLA
Dear lady,--
OLIVIA
I prithee, tell me what thou thinkest of me.
VIOLA
That you do think you are not what you are.
OLIVIA
If I think so, I think the same of you.
VIOLA
Then think you right: I am not what I am.
OLIVIA
I would you were as I would have you be!
VIOLA
Would it be better, madam, than I am?
I wish it might, for now I am your fool.
OLIVIA
O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
In the contempt and anger of his lip!
Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
By maidhood, honour, truth and every thing,
I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride,
Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide.
Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause,
But rather reason thus with reason fetter,
Love sought is good, but given unsought better.
VIOLA
By innocence I swear, and by my youth
I have one heart, one bosom and one truth,
And that no woman has; nor never none
Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
And so adieu, good madam: never more
Will I my master's tears to you deplore.
OLIVIA
Yet come again; for thou perhaps mayst move
That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
Exit VIOLA
SCENE II. OLIVIA's house.
OLIVIA [Sing]
O what is love? 'Tis not hereafter.
Present mirth hath present laughter,
What's to come is still unsure.
In delay there lies no plenty, pretty, pretty sweeting.
Then come and kiss me, sweet and twenty,
For you and I will not endure.
No, no, no…
OLIVIA/VIOLA
High and low, high and low, high and low,
Every wise man's son sings
High and low, high and low, high and low,
Come and kiss me sweet,
Come and kiss me twenty,
Let me kiss you so
High and low.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW
SIR ANDREW
No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.
SIR ANDREW
Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the count's serving-man than ever
she bestowed upon me; I saw't i' the orchard.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Challenge me the count's youth to fight with him; hurt him in eleven places:
my niece shall take note of it; and assure thyself, there is no love-broker
in the world can more prevail in man's commendation with woman than report of
valour.
SIR ANDREW
Will you bear me a challenge to him?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and brief; it is no matter how witty,
so it be eloquent and full of invention: taunt him with the licence of ink:
go, about it.
Exit SIR ANDREW
SIR TOBY BELCH
For Andrew, if he were opened, and you find so much blood in his liver as will
clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy.
Enter MARIA
MARIA
If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself into stitches, follow me.
Yond gull Malvolio is in yellow stockings.
SIR TOBY BELCH
And cross-gartered?
MARIA
Most villanously. He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped to betray
him: he does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map with the
augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such a thing as 'tis. I can hardly
forbear hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him: if she do, he'll
smile and take't for a great favour.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Come, bring us, bring us where he is.
Exeunt
SCENE III. A street.
Enter SEBASTIAN and ANTONIO
SEBASTIAN
I would not by my will have troubled you;
But, since you make your pleasure of your pains,
I will no further chide you. What's to do?
Shall we go see the reliques of this town?
ANTONIO
Would you'ld pardon me;
I do not without danger walk these streets:
Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the count his galleys
I did some service; of such note indeed,
That were I ta'en here it would scarce be answer'd.
SEBASTIAN
Do not then walk too open.
ANTONIO
It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my purse.
In the south suburbs, at the Elephant,
Is best to lodge: there shall you have me.
SEBASTIAN
Why I your purse?
ANTONIO
Haply your eye shall light upon some toy
You have desire to purchase; and your store,
I think, is not for idle markets, sir.
SEBASTIAN
I'll be your purse-bearer and leave you
For an hour.
ANTONIO
To the Elephant.
SEBASTIAN
I do remember.
Exeunt
SCENE IV. OLIVIA's garden.
Enter OLIVIA, with MALVOLIO
OLIVIA
How now, Malvolio!
MALVOLIO
Sweet lady, ho, ho.
OLIVIA
Smilest thou?
I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.
MALVOLIO
Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make some obstruction in the blood, this
cross-gartering; but what of that?
OLIVIA
Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter with thee?
MALVOLIO
Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It did come to his hands, and
commands shall be executed: I think we do know the sweet Roman hand.
OLIVIA
Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?
MALVOLIO
To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee.
OLIVIA
God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and kiss thy hand so oft?
MALVOLIO
'Be not afraid of greatness:' 'twas well writ.
OLIVIA
What meanest thou by that, Malvolio?
MALVOLIO
'Some are born great,'-
OLIVIA
Ha!
MALVOLIO
'Some achieve greatness,'-
OLIVIA
What sayest thou?
MALVOLIO
'And some have greatness thrust upon them.'
OLIVIA
Heaven restore thee!
MALVOLIO
'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'-
OLIVIA
Thy yellow stockings!
MALVOLIO
'And wished to see thee cross-gartered.'
OLIVIA
Cross-gartered!
MALVOLIO
'Go to thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;'-
OLIVIA
Am I made?
MALVOLIO
'If not, let me see thee a servant still.'
OLIVIA
Why, this is very midsummer madness.
Enter Servant(3)
Actor 3
Madam, the young gentleman of the Count Orsino's is returned: I could hardly
entreat him back: he attends your ladyship's pleasure.
OLIVIA
I'll come to him. Let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby? Let
some of my people have a special care of him: I would not have him miscarry
for the half of my dowry.
Exeunt OLIVIA and Actor 3
MALVOLIO
O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than Sir Toby to look to me! This
concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear
stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter. And when she went
away now, 'Let this fellow be looked to:' fellow! not Malvolio, nor after my
degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together, that no dram of a scruple,
no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance-What
can be said? Nothing that can be can come between me and the full prospect of
my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.
Enter MARIA, with SIR TOBY BELCH
SIR TOBY BELCH
Which way is he, in the name of sanctity?
MARIA
Here he is, here he is. How is't with you, sir? how is't with you, man?
MALVOLIO
Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy my private: go off.
SIR TOBY BELCH
How do you, Malvolio? How is't with you? What, man!
MARIA
No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly
used.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Why, how now, my bawcock! how dost thou, chuck?
MALVOLIO
Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow things: I am not of your element:
you shall know more hereafter.
Exit
SIR TOBY BELCH
Is't possible?
MARIA
If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound. My niece is already in the belief
that he's mad.
MARIA
But see, but see.
Enter SIR ANDREW
SIR TOBY BELCH
More matter for a May morning.
SIR ANDREW
Here's the challenge, read it: warrant there's vinegar and pepper in't.
MARIA
Is't so saucy?
SIR ANDREW
Ay, is't, I warrant him: do but read.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Give me.
Reads
'Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.'
MARIA
Good, and valiant.
SIR TOBY BELCH
[Reads] 'Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for
I will show thee no reason for't.'
MARIA
A good note; that keeps you from the blow of the law.
SIR TOBY BELCH
[Reads] 'Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly:
but thou liest in thy throat; that is not the matter I challenge thee for.'
MARIA
Very brief, and to exceeding good sense-less.
SIR TOBY BELCH
[Reads] 'I will waylay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,'-
MARIA
Good.
SIR TOBY BELCH
[Reads] 'Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.'
MARIA
Still you keep o' the windy side of the law: good.
SIR TOBY BELCH
[Reads] 'Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have
mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend,
as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy, ANDREW AGUECHEEK. If this letter move
him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't him.
MARIA
You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now in some commerce with my lady,
and will by and by depart.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Go, Sir Andrew: scout me for him at the corner the orchard: so soon as ever
thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest swear horrible; for it comes to pass
oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives
manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. Away!
SIR ANDREW
Nay, let me alone for swearing.
Exit ANDREW.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behavior of the young gentleman gives
him out to be of good capacity and breeding; therefore this letter, being so
excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth: he will find it comes
from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set
upon Aguecheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman, as I know
his youth will aptly receive it, into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill,
fury and impetuosity. This will so fright them both that they will kill one
another by the look, like cockatrices.
Exit MARIA. Enter VIOLA.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Gentleman, God save thee.
VIOLA
And you, sir.
SIR TOBY BELCH
That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou
hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the
hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation,
for thy assailant is quick, skilful and deadly.
VIOLA
You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me: my remembrance is
very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man.
SIR TOBY BELCH
You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at
any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth,
strength, skill and wrath can furnish man withal.
VIOLA
I pray you, sir, what is he?
SIR TOBY BELCH
He is knight, dubbed with unhatched rapier and on carpet consideration; but
he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and
his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none
but by pangs of death and sepulchre.
VIOLA
This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as
to know of the knight what my offence to him is: it is something of my negligence,
nothing of my purpose.
SIR TOBY BELCH
I will do so.
Approaches SIR ANDREW
Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard and all, and he gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on. They say he has been fencer to the Sophy.
SIR ANDREW
Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Ay, but he will not now be pacified.
SIR ANDREW
Plague on't, an I thought he had been valiant and so cunning in fence, I'ld
have seen him damned ere I'ld have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip,
and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet.
SIR TOBY BELCH
I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good show on't: this shall end without
the perdition of souls.
Aside
Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you. [To VIOLA] There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you for's oath sake: marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests he will not hurt you.
VIOLA
[Aside] Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much
I lack of a man.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake,
have one bout with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised
me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't.
SIR ANDREW
Pray God, he keep his oath!
VIOLA
I do assure you, 'tis against my will.
They draw
Enter ANTONIO
ANTONIO
Put up your sword. If this young gentleman
Have done offence, I take the fault on me:
If you offend him, I for him defy you.
SIR TOBY BELCH
You, sir! why, what are you?
ANTONIO
One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
Than you have heard him brag to you he will.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.
They draw. Volunteer and Actor 4 enter as Officers.
VIOLA
Hold, sir, here come the officers. Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.
SIR ANDREW
Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word:
he will bear you easily and reins well.
Volunteer
Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of Count Orsino.
ANTONIO
I must obey.
To VIOLA
This comes with seeking you:
But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.
What will you do, now my necessity
Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me
Much more for what I cannot do for you
Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed;
But be of comfort.
Volunteer
Come, sir, away.
ANTONIO
I must entreat of you some of that money.
VIOLA
What money, sir?
For the fair kindness you have show'd me here,
And, part, being prompted by your present trouble,
Out of my lean and low ability
I'll lend you something: my having is not much;
I'll make division of my present with you:
Hold, there's half my coffer.
ANTONIO
Will you deny me now?
Is't possible that my deserts to you
Can lack persuasion?
VIOLA
I know of none;
Nor know I you by voice or any feature.
ANTONIO
O heavens themselves! This youth that you see here
I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death.
But O how vile an idol proves this god!
Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.
Actor 4
The man grows mad: away with him! Come, come, sir.
ANTONIO
Lead me on.
Exit with Officers
VIOLA
Methinks his words do from such passion fly,
That he believes himself: so do not I.
Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,
That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!
He named Sebastian: O, if it prove,
Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love.
Exit
SIR TOBY BELCH
A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears
in leaving his friend here in necessity and denying him.
SIR ANDREW
'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.
SIR ANDREW
An I do not,--
SIR TOBY BELCH [aside]
I dare lay any money 'twill be nothing yet.
Exeunt
ACT IV.
SCENE I. Before OLIVIA's house.
Offstage scuffle:
SIR ANDREW
Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you.
SEBASTIAN
Why, there's for thee, and there, and there. Are all the people mad?
Enter SIR ANDREW, SIR TOBY BELCH.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Come on, sir; hold.
SIR ANDREW
Nay, let him alone: I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action
of battery against
him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no
matter for that.
Exit Sir Andrew.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on.
Enter Sebastian.
SEBASTIAN
I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now? If thou darest tempt me further,
draw thy sword.
SIR TOBY BELCH
What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from
you.
Enter OLIVIA
OLIVIA
Hold, Toby; on thy life I charge thee, hold!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Madam!
OLIVIA
Will it be ever thus? Out of my sight!
Be not offended, dear Cesario.
Rudesby, be gone!
Exit SIR TOBY BELCH.
I prithee, gentle friend,
Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
In this uncivil and thou unjust extent
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
Do not deny.
SEBASTIAN
What relish is in this? how runs the stream?
Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;
If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!
OLIVIA
Nay, come, I prithee; would thou'ldst be ruled by me!
SEBASTIAN
Madam, I will.
OLIVIA
O, say so, and so be!
Exeunt
SCENE III. OLIVIA's garden.
Enter SEBASTIAN
SEBASTIAN
This is the air; that is the glorious sun;
This pearl she gave me, I do feel't and see't;
And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus,
Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio, then?
I could not find him at the Elephant:
Yet there he was; and there I found this credit,
That he did range the town to seek me out.
His counsel now might do me golden service;
For though my soul disputes well with my sense,
That this may be some error, but no madness,
Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune
So far exceed all instance, all discourse,
That I am ready to distrust mine eyes
And wrangle with my reason that persuades me
To any other trust but that I am mad
Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so,
She could not sway her house, command her followers,
Take and give back affairs and their dispatch
With such a smooth, discreet and stable bearing
As I perceive she does: there's something in't
That is deceiveable. But here the lady comes.
Enter OLIVIA and Volunteer as Priest.
OLIVIA
Blame not this haste of mine. If you mean well,
Now go with me and with this holy man
Into the chantry by: there, before him,
And underneath that consecrated roof,
Plight me the full assurance of your faith;
That my most jealous and too doubtful soul
May live at peace. He shall conceal it
Whiles you are willing it shall come to note,
What time we will our celebration keep
According to my birth. What do you say?
SEBASTIAN
I'll follow this good man, and go with you;
And, having sworn truth, ever will be true.
OLIVIA
Then lead the way, good father; and heavens so shine,
That they may fairly note this act of mine!
Exeunt
ACT V
SCENE I. Before OLIVIA's house.
Enter DUKE ORSINO, VIOLA.
VIOLA
Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me.
Enter ANTONIO and Officer (Volunteer), who ties him up.
DUKE ORSINO
That face of his I do remember well;
Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd
As black as Vulcan in the smoke of war:
VIOLA
He did me kindness, sir, drew on my side;
But in conclusion put strange speech upon me:
I know not what 'twas but distraction.
DUKE ORSINO
Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief!
What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies,
Whom thou, in terms so bloody and so dear,
Hast made thine enemies?
ANTONIO
Orsino, noble sir,
That most ingrateful boy there by your side,
From the rude sea's enraged and foamy mouth
Did I redeem; a wreck past hope he was:
His life I gave him and did thereto add
My love, without retention or restraint,
All his in dedication; for his sake
Did I expose myself, pure for his love,
Into the danger of this adverse town;
Drew to defend him when he was beset:
Where being apprehended, his false cunning,
While one would wink; denied me mine own purse,
Which I had recommended to his use
Not half an hour before.
VIOLA
How can this be?
DUKE ORSINO
When came he to this town?
ANTONIO
To-day, my lord; and for three months before,
No interim, not a minute's vacancy,
Both day and night did we keep company.
Enter OLIVIA
DUKE ORSINO
Here comes the countess: now heaven walks on earth.
But for thee, fellow; fellow, thy words are madness:
Three months this youth hath tended upon me;
But more of that anon. Take him aside.
OLIVIA
What would my lord, but that he may not have,
Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?
Cesario, you do not keep promise with me.
VIOLA
Madam!
DUKE ORSINO
Gracious Olivia,--
OLIVIA
What do you say, Cesario? Good my lord,--
VIOLA
My lord would speak; my duty hushes me.
OLIVIA
If it be aught to the old tune, my lord,
It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear
As howling after music.
DUKE ORSINO
Still so cruel?
OLIVIA
Still so constant, lord.
DUKE ORSINO
Since you to non-regardance cast my faith,
And that I partly know the instrument
That screws me from my true place in your favour,
Live you the marble-breasted tyrant still;
But this your minion, whom I know you love,
And whom, by heaven I swear, I tender dearly,
Him will I tear out of that cruel eye,
Where he sits crowned in his master's spite.
Come, boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in mischief:
I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love,
To spite a raven's heart within a dove.
VIOLA
And I, most jocund, apt and willingly,
To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die.
OLIVIA
Where goes Cesario?
VIOLA
After him I love
More than I love these eyes, more than my life,
More, by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife.
OLIVIA
Ay me, detested! how am I beguiled!
VIOLA
Who does beguile you? who does do you wrong?
OLIVIA
Hast thou forgot thyself? is it so long?
Call forth the holy father.
DUKE ORSINO
Come, away!
OLIVIA
Whither, my lord? Cesario, husband, stay.
DUKE ORSINO
Husband!
OLIVIA
Ay, husband: can he that deny?
DUKE ORSINO
Her husband, sirrah!
VIOLA
No, my lord, not I.
OLIVIA
Fear not, Cesario; take thy fortunes up;
A contract of eternal bond of love,
Confirm'd by mutual joinder of our hands,
Attested by the holy close of lips,
Strengthen'd by interchangement of our rings.
DUKE ORSINO
O thou dissembling cub!
Farewell, and take her; but direct thy feet
Where thou and I henceforth may never meet.
VIOLA
My lord, I do protest-
OLIVIA
O, do not swear!
Hold little faith, though thou hast too much fear.
Enter SIR ANDREW
SIR ANDREW
For the love of God, a surgeon! Send one presently to Sir Toby.
OLIVIA
What's the matter?
SIR ANDREW
He has broke my head across and has given Sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for
the love of God, your help! I had rather than forty pound I were at home.
OLIVIA
Who has done this, Sir Andrew?
SIR ANDREW
The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we took him for a coward, but he's the very
devil incardinate.
DUKE ORSINO
My gentleman, Cesario?
SIR ANDREW
'Od's lifelings, here he is! You broke my head for nothing; and that that I
did, I was set on to do't by Sir Toby.
VIOLA
Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you:
You drew your sword upon me without cause;
But I bespoke you fair, and hurt you not.
SIR ANDREW
If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me: I
think you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb.
OLIVIA
Get you to bed, and let your hurt be look'd to.
Exeunt SIR ANDREW
Enter SEBASTIAN
SEBASTIAN
I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman:
But, had it been the brother of my blood,
I must have done no less with wit and safety.
You throw a strange regard upon me, and by that
I do perceive it hath offended you:
Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows
We made each other but so late ago.
DUKE ORSINO
One face, one voice, one habit, and two persons,
A natural perspective, that is and is not!
SEBASTIAN
Antonio, O my dear Antonio!
How have the hours rack'd and tortured me,
Since I have lost thee!
ANTONIO
Sebastian are you?
SEBASTIAN
Fear'st thou that, Antonio?
ANTONIO
How have you made division of yourself?
An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin
Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian?
OLIVIA
Most wonderful!
SEBASTIAN
Do I stand there? I never had a brother;
Nor can there be that deity in my nature,
Of here and every where. I had a sister,
Whom the blind waves and surges have devour'd.
Of charity, what kin are you to me?
What countryman? what name? what parentage?
VIOLA
Of Messaline: Sebastian was my father;
Such a Sebastian was my brother too.
SEBASTIAN
Were you a woman, as the rest goes even,
I should my tears let fall upon your cheek,
And say 'Thrice-welcome, drowned Viola!'
VIOLA
My father had a mole upon his brow.
SEBASTIAN
And so had mine.
VIOLA
And died that day when Viola from her birth
Had number'd thirteen years.
SEBASTIAN
O, that record is lively in my soul!
He finished indeed his mortal act
That day that made my sister thirteen years.
VIOLA
If nothing lets to make us happy both
But this my masculine usurp'd attire,
Do not embrace me till each circumstance
Of place, time, fortune, do cohere and jump
That I am Viola: which to confirm,
I'll bring you to a captain in this town,
Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle help
I was preserved to serve this noble count.
All the occurrence of my fortune since
Hath been between this lady and this lord.
SEBASTIAN
[To OLIVIA] So comes it, lady, you have been mistook:
But nature to her bias drew in that.
You would have been contracted to a maid;
Nor are you therein, by my life, deceived,
You are betroth'd both to a maid and man.
DUKE ORSINO
Be not amazed; right noble is his blood.
If this be so, as yet the glass seems true,
I shall have share in this most happy wreck.
To VIOLA
Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand
times
Thou never shouldst love woman like to me.
VIOLA
And all those sayings will I overswear;
And those swearings keep as true in soul
As doth that orbed continent the fire
That severs day from night.
DUKE ORSINO
Give me thy hand;
And let me see thee in thy woman's weeds.
Exit VIOLA
OLIVIA
My lord so please you, these things further thought on,
To think me as well a sister as a wife,
One day shall crown the alliance on't, so please you,
Here at my house and at my proper cost.
DUKE ORSINO
Madam, I am most apt to embrace your offer.
Enter MALVOLIO
OLIVIA
How now, Malvolio!
MALVOLIO
Madam, you have done me wrong,
Notorious wrong.
OLIVIA
Have I, Malvolio? no.
MALVOLIO
Lady, you have. Pray you, peruse that letter.
You must not now deny it is your hand:
Write from it, if you can, in hand or phrase;
Or say 'tis not your seal, nor your invention:
You can say none of this: well, grant it then
And tell me, in the modesty of honour,
Why you have given me such clear lights of favour,
Bade me come smiling and cross-garter'd to you,
To put on yellow stockings and to frown
Upon Sir Toby and the lighter people;
And, acting this in an obedient hope,
Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd,
Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest,
And made the most notorious geck and gull
That e'er invention play'd on? tell me why.
OLIVIA
Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing,
Though, I confess, much like the character
But out of question 'tis Maria's hand.
And now I do bethink me, it was she
First told me thou wast mad; then camest in smiling.
Alas, poor fool, how have they baffled thee!
MALVOLIO
I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you.
Exit
OLIVIA
He hath been most notoriously abused.
DUKE ORSINO
We shall pursue him and entreat him to a peace:
VIOLA enters in woman's clothes.
Your master quits you; and for your
service done him,
So much against the mettle of your sex,
So far beneath your soft and tender breeding,
And since you call'd me master for so long,
Here is my hand: you shall from this time be
Your master's mistress.
OLIVIA
A sister! you are she.
ORSINO
Now that in other habits you are seen,
Orsino's mistress and his fancy's queen.
VIOLA [sings]
A great while ago the world begun,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
But that's all one, our play is done,
And we'll strive to please you every day.
CAST [sings]
Hey ho, hey ho, hey ho, hey ho,
The wind,
Hey ho, hey ho, hey ho, hey ho,
The wind
And the rai-ee-ain,
Ho, oh, oh,
O-o-o-o-oh!
Curtain Call